Fauxcahontas Drops Out of White House Race

Fauxcahontas Drops Out of White House Race

March 5, 2020

White House hopeful Elizabeth Warren officially ended her campaign for the presidency Thursday after failing to pick up any states on Super Tuesday.

“I will not be running for president in 2020 but I guarantee I will stay in the fight for the hardworking people across this country who’ve gotten the short end of the stick,” Warren told reporters outside her Cambridge, Massachusetts, home. “One of the hardest parts of this is all those pinky promises and all those little girls who are going to have to wait 4 more years.”

Asked which other candidate she would endorse, Warren replied, “Let’s take a deep breath and spend a little time on that,” she said. “We don’t have to decide that this minute.”

President Trump reacted by tweeting, “Elizabeth ‘Pocahontas’ Warren, who was going nowhere except into Mini Mike’s head, just dropped out of the Democrat Primary…THREE DAYS TOO LATE. She cost Crazy Bernie, at least, Massachusetts, Minnesota and Texas. Probably cost him the nomination! Came in third in Mass.”

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